Blogging about knitting has opened up a completely new community for me. The Work-in-Progress Wednesday and Finished Object Friday "open houses" held by Tami and Ginny every week allowed me to discover other knitters around the globe and get to know them, a bit like bumping into a neighbor in the street. Needless to say that this has been really good to the soul during the harshest months of winter where going outside with a newborn baby is not necessarily a good idea.
Lydia is holding a "linky" every Monday on the subject. Monday is almost over, but I nevertheless feel like linking in. I read Lydia's post in the morning, and it stayed with me all day. She talks about JOY, that is, how you put Jesus first, others second and yourself last, and how a lot of mothers never make it to the Y and therefore feel completely overwhelmed. I felt like that - really to pick up my purse and leave everything behind - a few weeks ago, so her words went straight to my heart.
It is hard to say that Jesus comes first to me. It has been years since I went to church. It has been years since I prayed, although the silent conversations I have with my mother, who died when I was two, might count like a prayers. I have nevertheless been raised in the catholic faith, and that faith is still with me, alongside the teachings about love, charity and justice. These values are still fundamental to me, so yes, in a way, Jesus is somewhat there first.
Others second, well, almost every minute of the day! With a four month old baby, a three year old running around, and an aging surrogate mother, there is always someone who wants my attention! I profoundly love the three of them, but they can make me pull my hair out at times!
And yourself last. That's a difficult one at times! We have a saying here (in Quebec) that says something similar. We say Charité bien ordonnée commence par soi-même, or well-ordered charity starts by oneself. You cannot give charity if you are yourself in need - you need a minimum for yourself before you can become useful for others. It is with these thoughts in mind that, this afternoon, I told my eldest daughter. who wanted to play with me during the baby's siesta, that mommy needed some time on her own, to knit. Usually, I would have put down the needles to play with her, feeling her sense of loneliness (especially since the baby came in the house, taking a lot of her mom's attention), but I understood that I needed that time in my bubble to be available to her during the rest of the day. I felt horribly guilty saying so, but rather than throw a tantrum, she said "OK!" and went back to her toys.
Am I not the luckiest mother?
On a high note, spring is upon us. Soon, I will not be as locked up in the house. Here's what spring looked like in our back street two years ago:
This little girl is now much taller, but she will still run from one puddle to the other. The other one will be in the stroller, probably frustrated of not being able to do the same! I believe that walking with them outside, on the first day where you can open up your winter jacket will be a moment of pure JOY, the three letters at the same time.